Mr Sparkle Commands You!!!

I never played any of the Call of Duty series until number 4, Advanced Warfare. As I’ve stated on here before, it was one of the best shooters I’ve ever played; the story was entertaining, the difficulty was perfect, and the graphics were superb.

With this in mind, I happily downloaded and installed the new public beta to Call of Duty: World at War. Right off the bat I could tell there was something wrong, as Infinity Ward had nothing to do with this game. On top of that is the little issue I have with games trying to mimic the titles of other games just for popularity sake.

Now, I don’t typically believe in reviewing a beta because I don’t think its fair to judge something that isn’t finished yet. I think I’m ok with this post, however, since it’s not a true review.

The beta was for multiplayer only, which is understandable, though I don’t typically play multiplayer myself. After declining to install PunkBuster (I hate bloatware) I was informed I would be blocked from numerous servers who were ‘PunkBuster Hosted’. I’ve got news for everyone out there; it’s 2008, there are easier ways to tell if someone is cheating than to install a separate resource hog to run in your systray.

The only server I could find was unoccupied, which suited me just fine. I was dropped into a ‘King of the Hill’ style match with only myself and a rifle and a set of flags to capture. The computer automatically assigned me to the Imperial Japanese Army and started screaming at me.
“GO GET FLAG! GO GET FLAG FOR HONOR! YOU HONOR EMPEROR AND HURRRRRR……”

 

CAPTURE FLAG AND BANISH IT TO THE LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS!
CAPTURE FLAG AND BANISH IT TO THE LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS!

 

 

I don’t actually know what the last word was that my phantom squad leader screamed. I’d like to think that sound was him getting a bayonet in the back, but since I was the only one there and I know that I sure didn’t do it, he must have just had a stroke or something.

I tested shooting at some things, I jumped off a small bridge, switched weapons and reloaded, and even tested the map feature to capture a flag. Just when I thought I couldn’t get anymore underwhelmed with the design of the game, there was Mr. Sparkle to shout at me again.
“YOU BRING HONOR TO YOUR FAMILY! GO GET OTHER FLAG! GO NOW!”

I felt like I was being ordered around by some cross between a South Park character and a klingon, and it really wasn’t the best game experience I could imagine having.

 

Evidentally, this was the only research Trearc did in learning Japanese.
Evidentally, this was the only research Trearch did in learning Japanese.

Now, as I said before, I’m not normally into multiplayer shooters, but I’d imagine that some of the fun you are supposed to get is from listening to your squad mates and victims . . . not from crappy voice acting. Was I wrong there?

Thankfully, from what I understand, Infinity Ward has signed on to develop Call of Duty 6. I hope it’s every bit as good as 4 was.

Zuke

Executive Producer for Stolendroids Podcast. Also resident 'tech-head' and de-facto leader of the group.

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4 Comments

  1. Yeah… I agree with you on all points. I’ll take it a step further and dare to say that CoD 5 will be quickly forgotten as was CoD 3 (which was done by Treyarch as well). I’ll sit this one out and go for CoD 6.

  2. I played the beta on the 360 the other night. The matchmaking system is still a bit weird. I found myself as a first time level 1 character, playing with people who were high 30’s and 40’s. Needless to say I didn’t do that well. Also I have to say that much like COD3 the game looks to be a bit of a graphical step backwards. I didn’t get the chance to play as Japan, but as a US soldier I found a voice that I think was Kiefer Sutherland just as annoying, though not as racist.

    With so many games coming out this Christmas season COD5 has fallen pretty far down my wish list. Hooray for next years COD6, and Rock Band: Beatles

  3. Yah I have followed COD from the first game. The only reason that World at war (5) is even okay is that infinity ward let them use a ton of stuff that they made. If you go play cod2 then go play cod3… you’ll see the same difference. Just its much much more dramatic. The online play on 2 was fantastic. on 3 it blew goats for quarters. The real point is that if your demanding HIGH Quality… only buy the infinity ward made game. Tryrablah balh (i don’t remember there name) is not up to par w/ infinity. Having said that, i’m a online gamer almost exclusively. I love new content, I’ve logged over a month on cod4. i love it, but i want new stuff. so cod waw is my pacifier till infinity ward kicks out their new master piece. So- until then its fun,not the best but it will do.

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