Well hello everyone! Surprisingly enough the guys at Stolendroids agreed to let me write a Top 5 list for you. So let’s cover a couple of things first, yes I know there are more than 5 entries on this list. Yes, I did steal the idea of a Top 5 list with more than 5 entries from my father. He’s funny, follow him on Twitter (@Jobfaust).
The below list probably has little bearing on anything that has any impact on your life, but you’re probably going to leave comments about why you think I’m wrong in the comment section… But I’m probably going to forget to check them, so don’t think that I’m ignoring you.
ALRIGHT, LETS KICK THIS THING OFF RIGHT
First up, we’ve got Baby Driver! This beautiful masterpiece is a crazy musical on wheels. Set in Atlanta, you’re immediately met with complicated and perfectly choreographed driving scenes set to a soundtrack that could potentially bring you to tears. It’s nothing less than love a story on wheels… The boy acts a wheelman in a bank robbery, the boy escapes the police helicopter in a red WRX… Boy meets girl in a coffee house, boy woos the girl with cute nicknames… Boy steals a couple of cars and helps with a couple more robberies… The movie ends dramatically. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it 10:10 (watched like nine times already)
Did you see John Wick? Did you see John Wick 2? Why not? Don’t you like creative movies? Are you not a fan of excessive violence and mayhem? Do you not believe that there is a secret underground world of assassins and assassin vendors? Have you ever seen Keanu Reeves in a suit? He’s dashing, absolutely dashing.
John Wick 2 (and John Wick) is one of the most interesting franchises out right now, they’ve managed to build an entire world with a level of detail that you don’t see very often. It’s a world full of mystery and loyalty, and it’s absolutely intoxicating. Watch it, watch it twice. 10:10 Will spend money on it again
If you follow me on Facebook then you’ve seen how much I loved The Greatest Showman. Don’t get me wrong, it’s super thin on a plot… But so full of heart and love that you can’t really be angry about anything. Hugh Jackman, and Zac Efron shine but the real star is Keala Settle. She’s an absolute rock star; watch this video and if you still want to argue with me, we can but you won’t and I would win if you tried to anyways. Go fall in love, and maybe in 2018 consider supporting movies like this, the ones that encourage you to be unique.
AHHHH! CHiPS came out this year, and I was instantly enamored with it. Dax Sheppard handles inappropriate and self-deprecating humor better than anyone directing right now. It also doesn’t hurt that his wife (Kristen Bell) is completely on board, and every one of her cameos is almost perfect. But let’s not forget about Michael Pena who is criminally underrated. He can be my leading man any day.
There is absolutely zero reason for Fate of the Furious to be on this list, but nostalgia runs deep in my life. I’ve been to opening night for every single Fast and Furious movie, and routinely watch the entire series at least 3 times a year. That being said Fate of the Furious was kind of awful and completely infuriating. I know the films revolve around Toretto, but I think the loss of Paul Walker cost this franchise it’s heart. And that makes me sad.
How many have you ever dreamed a dream of a Vietnam era Samuel L. Jackson tracking and hunting King Kong? Then Kong: Skull Island. There’s napalm, helicopters and Brie Larson. Brie Larson, the one who can do no wrong in my eyes.
This is by no means a comprehensive list or even a very good one. It’s certainly not going to win any Webby Awards, wait are Webby Awards a thing? Or did I just imagine that? Whatever. My point is that, if you watch these “5” movies, I can promise that you’ll have a pretty great weekend. But don’t hold me to that promise, I don’t actually know you. And all you really know about me is that the Stolendroids people only partially trust me, it’s not like I’m a regular contributor here… So maybe these movies won’t do anything for you, but you can’t fault me for trying!